


The Adventures of Bollggg, the beautiful princess

by atichanhardcore



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 12:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3446531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atichanhardcore/pseuds/atichanhardcore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bollggg is the son of Azog the Defiler, the most cruel ork Middle Earth has to face for a long time. He is everything a real ork wants to be- stronger than a bear, nearly as feared as the dragon Smaug and so ugly that the sun darkens to not have to shine directly upon him. Bollgg has to become his successor, and theouter conditions speak for him as an excellent one of his kind...<br/>Sadly, Bollgggs true self wants to become a princess. The massive ork wants to wear nice dresses, go on balls and fall in love with a handsome prince. His fate meets him at the most unexpected moment in the form of Tauriel, the elvish warrior...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventures of Bollggg, the beautiful princess

**The Adventures of Bollgg**

**A beautiful princess**

 

Chapter one- The fair princess Bollgg

It was a warm morning in spring somewhere in Middleearth. The bird´s lovely songs were harmonizing perfectly with the gentle rustling of the trees. Somewhere in the distance one could hear the calm sound of a lazily flowing river, when princess Bollgg awoke from her beauty sleep.

„ BRUUUUOOOECH BOLLGG move your nasty ass at the table, breakfast´s ready.“ Those mellifluous words came from Bollggs father Azog. His best friends called him Boss, but throughout Middleearth he was better known as The Defiler. Princess Bollgg loved his father, although he could be a little difficult from time to time. While he put his metal dress over his muscular shoulders Bolggg woundered how it would be if he would be a real princess. His appearance was as far away from delicate and dapper as the Lonely Mountain from Bag End. Bollllgggg simply was the heir of Azog the defiler, probably the cruelest Org that Middle-earth had to face for a long time.

So our princess didn´t have delicate, elegant hands for playing the harp, but huge paws, which allowed her to break a bear´s neck with a single move. Instead of a slender body that trembled at the slightest touch like reeds in a gust, Bolllgg was as massively built as a mountain. His face, at last, was not exactly what made the heart of every prince pump with high excitement. In a way it did... but rather out of fear then out of love at first sight. In short, he was a monster. Exactly what Hobbit parents threatened their children with when they had secretly been eating a fifth Breakfast again, which was actually meant to be for supper: "If you're not careful the evil Bolllgg will come, and then he eats you in one bite before you can even say dessert!" However the tales about men and elven princesses always were wondrously epic stories with a happy ending or at least an enormous battle.

Someday, Bollgg dreamed, people would tell his story ... and that would perhaps be the best one ever, because Hobbit stories and tales about heroes and princesses everyone knew and were getting a bit boring.

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello,  
> this is my first fanfiction ever! I had this stupid idea while watching DoS with my friends...and it got out of control. Be careful, this is NOT MEANT TO TAKE SERIOUSLY!!! It´s just my stupid ideas that had to be written down.   
> I also don´t quite know how far I will go, I really want to write about all of my favourite pairings but I´ll try to not get distracted from the main story too much. If you like it/have ideas for a certain change in the story/notice any language mistakes....please contact me ;) I am not a native speaker so my language might never get as impressive as others authors works on here, but I´m still willing to improve.   
> Ati =^w^=


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